Shaking the Heart of God

A couple of days ago, Shih Yang asked Luis, "What makes a friend of God?" In my heart I'm thinking, friendship is such a profound thing. There's something so easy and accessible, yet something so l0ngsuffering-like and inaccessible, in friendship, especially with God. There's this paradoxical nature about it, whereby there are those times God comes beside you, and he hangs out, and he's really easy-going and you know anything you want he's going to give you. Then there are those times, where you can feel the mystery of being His friend, that there is so much I don't know about being His friend and at those times, to call myself His friend sounds kind of silly. Perhaps a good illustration of this is in the life of John the Revelator, whereby there are those times he just leans on the breast of Jesus or his chest or his shoulder I don't know, where he knows he's so special to the Lord because even the other disciples know, that if they wanna get something secret from the Lord, they would go ask John to find out (sheesh man this reminds me of Luis). It's like dude, Jesus would tell John anything. And then in the book of Revelation he encounters Jesus, his best friend, and still he falls to the ground like a dead man, unaccustomed to the awe and majesty of His king, who grabs His hand like a friend. There is something so profound about this whole friendship thing and how God intended it to be.

Luis answered in this way, "there are three things that shake the heart of God. One - worship, especially in the times where it is difficult to worship, in tough circumstances, in sadness, in grieve. Two - humility, where you empty yourself of what you have, talents, giftings, possessions, and you say to God, I need you. Third - Forgiveness. These are the things that speak to God's heart, saying, I just want to be with you."

I feel that God's beginning to unravel in my heart this whole idea of relationship. I can feel all my father issues coming out as a result, so I think it's safe to say the revelation of my relationship with God has begun its work. I hope it is completed soon. Maybe I'm feeling everyone else's father issues. But hey, we are one body. LOL

That day God asked me a simple question, "what does a relationship mean?" It's especially this simple questions that make me feel stupid. But feeling stupid in front of God is something I've gotten used to. It also helps u to learn faster. Like Ezekiel in the valley of dry bones, "I don't know." Or in today's Singaporean language, "huh?"

So I know He's not talking about all the things people link to relationship, especially in church circles, whereby we seem to base our relationship with God on how much we serve or how much we go to church, or how much we know our word, or how much we hear God, or how much we love the poor, etc. I mean I think those things are related, in that, if we move into a deeper relationship with God, symptoms will show. Just like John said, if you don't love your brudder, you don't have God's love in you. But God was going for the essence, the substance of the relationship.

And so He said, "relationship comes from the word, relate. It's just how you relate to God." Then I give God my usual Godly look - o_O. But that is something deep about that. I don't think he was just speaking into my mind. He was speaking into my identity. In that instance I could see, the Lord I had grown to love in this couple of years. The tender way He speaks to me, the sweet fragance of His presence, the joy and infection of His laughter. I love the way He messes with me all the time. I say I don't, but I really do. It's like I'm the joke He mocks - I'm like the Joey of the Heavenlies, womanizing aside. But Joey is like a little kid. (I'm talking about the Friends character) He's like nutured and loved by everyone around Him. And there's this realm in the heavens where I'm a kid (not unlike Father God) and I'm just loved by God's family. And there's this lighthearted way He talks to me that I really like. I like His depth. I like how He shows up for me in the weirdest ways. How He knows the things I like. How He will just whisper scriptures in my ears that make me look like the most profound person ever (Besides Watchman, Luis and the gang of course). I love the way He talks about me, I love the way He's always there when I need Him, and how even though I am so pained sometimes, He's always so direct (talking about the Father here. Holy Spirit is normally more gentle), yet He can take my pain and weave it into something deep and precious and a piece of treasure forever held eternally. There's just something about God. I may not relate to God like anyone else, but I relate to Him, and I can feel His heart about, how precious this relating is to Him, how He would never trade it for anything else or anybody else's.

How often we want to give up our relationship for other people's! Like our pastors' relationship with God, or our friends' relationship with God. The whole deal, is not about getting to heaven. It's about walking with God in the cool of the day. If not, knowing Papa, He would have taken all of us up already (so much better up there!). But there is something about earth He wants to redeem, something about the original intention of God. But most of us are like Adam. God can't find us, because we hide within ourselves, we have a fear of relating to someone else. But in His great love (and cleverness), He always finds a way to restore us, bringing salvation to our spirit. SOZOing us. ^_^

There is a child inside wanting to express who he is. No fight scene in any manga comic is exciting without audiences watching and gasping and seeing dramatic turnarounds in battles. But with friends watching, there is something waiting to be displayed deep within the heroes. There is a perseverence he wants to display, a fighting spirit, an overcoming spirit inside him. It's not about the gifts or the speaking in tongues or the prophesying. But it's the overcoming spirit that is waiting to surface. Because the child is an overcomer. The child fights for good. The child demonstrates love. And there is something he is fighting for. He is fighting for his friends, his family, his nation. He believes, in the end, about the victory of goodness. In the end, goodness is triumphant over all. He wants to demonstrate who he is, because the glory of God was hidden in the depths from the beginning. He is not like other people. He has a different spirit. A different spirit. He feels he can do all things. And God is on his side.