John 3

Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a member of the Jewish ruling council. He came to Jesus at night and said, "Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him."

In reply Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again."

"How can a man be born when he is old?" Nicodemus asked. "Surely he cannot enter a second time into his mother's womb to be born!"

Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.' The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

"How can this be?" Nicodemus asked.

"You are Israel's teacher," said Jesus, "and do you not understand these things? I tell you the truth, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony. I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things?

"No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man. Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.

"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

issues, issues, issues

So many issues have been surfacing recently.. Haha i'm so weak! and I feel a little broken. I don't feel perfect. I feel like I have so much insecurities. But when I come to this place where I don't feel like much, I know that here I really discover the depth of His love and His faith for me. He believes in me. And I am His work.

It's really so simple some times. He didn't die for champions. He died for me. I was nothing. I had nothing to offer. I was going nowhere. Man He believed in me then, and He believes in me now. I am so expectant about the strength He is going to display through me, the awesomeness of His glory that will be revealed in us who have nothing besides Him. I am waiting to see the work that He is doing in me, and the seed that He has planted in me from the beginning. I am waiting to see why He calls me the fulfillment of His dreams, the stroke of His genius, the wondrous work of His hands. He gave me life I never knew was there. In Christ I can be everything He made me to be.

I like that I can be insecure, paranoid, stupid, angry, cocky, and He can be walking beside me, enjoying me. I like that I'm not entertaining to Him because I'm prophetic, or I'm righteous, or I have a spirit of repentance in me, but because I am me. Then instead of likening myself to who I think I am or who people think I am, I entrust my whole being and likeness unto Him whose form I take. I'm made like my Father. We're one, and will only become more in oneness. I'm not worried about who I am because His word defines who I am. His word is rolling and flowing inside me accomplishing the work He began with His word, which is Jesus.

He will remain faithful

Trusting God has been difficult recently. There is so much of myself, my life, that I want to control. Sometimes it's easier to rely on my gifting than to rely on God. I can feel my mindsets being broken so that before Him, I only have Him. Things are not going to be done the same way it was before, and God is not going to move the same way He did before. There is such expectancy of something we don't know. But we do know Him. I know Him. Sometimes it's so much easier to rely on what my circumstances tell me rather than what God tells me. There is strength from within because He lives within, and He is pulling me inward. Right now there's a digging going on in my heart because the Holy Spirit is leading me to deeper waters - the streams that flow below, that have never been touched before, never been drank from before and never burst forth before. He's moving me from a place where I trust Him only when I need to, to a place where I'm riding on Him all the time. He knows the speed to move at. He's the lion I ride on. He knows when to to take a drink. He knows where the green pastures are. Inward is where the voice come from. It's where the Holy Spirit whispers the things of the Father's heart.

The eagles are circling the skies. "Be patient. I will give you all the land that you see."

Let the fire fall, let the wind blow, let the glory come down.

i miss you..

oh maruichi ramen. my flesh cries out!

I am nothing without Him.

Without Him, there is no meaning, there is no purpose. Without Him, there's no life, no love, no peace. Without Him, nothing means anything. Without Him, heaven is meaningless and earth is meaningless; hell is meaningless. Without Him, I am nothing.

"Come. Walk with me."

Yea noodles!

Emily cooked this two days ago:

Seriously man if u saw the amount of ingredients she prepared, it's like she was throwing a buffet of meat, liver, vegetables and other assorted stuff that cannot fill your stomach but look good on the outside. wan hsi suggested selling this for ten bucks per bowl. I'd say twenty five.

Living in His favor.

It's the place of favor that catapults us into revelations of the realm of God, and who He is. In simple words, it is because He wants us to discover Him, that's why He lets us discover Him.

It happened to Moses in this way. In his first encounter with God, the mystery of God was experienced by Moses. Moses said, "who should I say sent me?" and God said, "I am who I am". For many many years I thought this was amazing, and it really is, where God declared that what man say about Him is not important. It doesn't define Him. He is who He is.

But there is always progression in relationship, and this wasn't the end for Moses. When Moses went up to the mountain in Exodus 33 to discuss with God what to do with the people God is pissed with. And Moses says this amazing thing, "if I have indeed found favor with you, then show me your ways so the I can continue to find favor with you." He said, "you said, I have found favor with you." Wow and God changes His mind about abandoning the Israelites

Then Moses says "show me your glory." And God said, "I will let all my goodness pass by you and I will proclaim My Name before you."

And then when God passes by, He declares "THE LORD, THE LORD, COMPASSIONATE AND GRACIOUS GOD, SLOW TO ANGER, ABOUNDING IN LOVE AND FAITHFULNESS, MAINTAINING LOVE TO THOUSANDS, AND FORGIVING WICKEDNESS, REBELLIOUS AND SIN."

WOW! That is God, that is what He declares about Himself. This is who He is.

We must hunger to get to the place where He reveals Himself. Every revelation of God is initiated by favor. It was like this with Daniel, when the angel of the Lord, Gabriel, came to Daniel and said, "you who are highly esteemed by God", and revealed to Him the revelation of the end times.

It is also the same with Jesus, the perfect image of the invisible God, the revelation of God in the flesh. Do we have favor? Do we all have favor? But we do know the desire of God to reveal Himself to us. That in itself is enough favor. Which is why the angels proclaimed to the shepherds, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace to men on whom His favor rests."

Favor with God is the invitation to know Him more, to know Him truely and magnificiently. We must respond in the time of favor, to experience His goodness and everlasting love. We must hunger, thirst, obssess and be desperate to know him FULLY. For this is the very desire of God, and our very inheritance, which is Christ.

Isaiah 61:2, Jesus proclaimed it when He came onto the earth. He proclaimed "the year of the Lord's favor." We are living in the season of His favor. Time is short, and revelation is accelerated, and we must take of this season of His favor.

Jeremiah says it this way in chapter 29, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Oh how much favor He has placed on us, that He desires for us to prosper. He determines that we prosper. And then He says "then you will seek me with all your heart, and YOU WILL FIND ME."

He favors us SO MUCH. Even angels wonder why. For God so love the world, He sent His Son down to die for us. It's not God who said that. It was the Son, Jesus. He is saying, "you have no idea how much my father loves you." And He spends so much time on earth teaching about the kind of place we have with God, that we are more important than many sparrows. That He knows us intimately, even our hairs are numbered.

That's why David said in Psalm 139, "How precious are your thoughts about me, O Lord! They cannot be numbered! They outnumber the grains of sand!"

Job 33:26 "He prays to God and finds favor with Him, he SEES GOD'S FACE, and shouts for joy!"

We must capture the opportunity made available in this season. To take the posture of humility, like Moses, and say "God show us your ways."

Suppose there was a man who lived in a kingdom, and for a long time, he was comfortable in this kingdom. But poverty began to grow in this kingdom, and worrying for the safety of his family, he took his family and fled the kingdom. After many days of travelling, he eventually reached another kingdom, where there was abundance of food he had not seen for a good portion of his life. Upon entering he was stopped by the guards at the gate and the guards brought him to see the king. Seeing the man and how impoverished his family looked, the king took pity on him, and asked the man, "what business do u have here?" The man looked at the king and then at his family. He could tell by the number of guards and the vastness of his kingdom that this king was a powerful king. In this place, there was hope for his family. What would he say to the king in order that he may stay? Will he say to the king, look I need to you to give me a good portion of your food, and a place to stay, and clothes to wear? Will he demand not to pay taxes, and demand the king to arrange things so that he can have his old lifestyle and live it comfortably? No. Instead, he will fall with his face to the ground, ask for mercy, and offer himself to the king. He will offer to submit himself to the system of this new kingdom so that he may have life.

In the same way, how can we say to God, God look u have to do things a certain way for us. Or if God is God, He should fit into our box. Instead, will we not say, God show us your ways, how your kingdom works, so that we may live in it. In fact, God wants to show us so much more. He is our father, there is family background that he wants to tell us. Like adopted kids, we have much to learn about who our father is, and what our family is like, what His kingdom is like. In the Spirit realm, there are not only angels that He wants us to experience, but He wants to show us all He has made.

John 16, Jesus tells His disciples, "Though I have been speaking figuratively, a time is coming when I will no longer use this kind of language but will tell you plainly about my Father. In that day you will ask in my name. No I am not saying that I will ask the Father on your behalf. No, the Father Himself loves you because you have loved me, and have believed that I came from God." Jesus said the time He tells us plainly about the Father is when we start to ask in His name. Are we not asking in His name? Are we not approaching the Father's throne boldly already?

That means the time is now. Now is the time that Jesus is telling us plainly about our Father. There is revelation being poured out now that is beyond our understanding. We need that revelation. We need God to come and declare His character before us.

After God declared His nature to Moses, "his face was radiant." God's glory is going to invade us in a measure we haven't seen before!

This blows my mind.

"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by Him all things was created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him.

He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything He might have the supremacy.

For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him, and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through His blood, shed on the cross.

Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now He has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation - if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.

Now I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions, for the sake of His body, which is the church. I have become its servant by the commission God gave me to present to you the word of God in its fullness - the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the saints.

To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." Colossians 1:15-27

"For in Christ, the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is head over every power and authority." Colossians 2:9-10

28th September - Day of Atonement

WHAT IS HAPPENING???

12 years of education..

.. and I can't believe I said mouses instead of mice. I was probably right though, depending..

Two more days till sleep in day.

Waking up is so much easier now that the guilt of being late is less. Now though every morning I have to make the choice between taking the train for an hour fifteen or getting my dad to fetch me. Well, that's what happens when my dad is always loitering around the house in the morning. Good for him though. I miss those days where I didn't have to worry about getting up.

I feel kind of sad transferring every email from my stanford account to my gmail account. It's like a closing an already closed chapter in my life again. Stanford webmail has been a constant companion in my studies at stanford. It really opened my eyes to how much spam mail an email account could take. now I have over 9000 unread mails, of which I keep only 3 out of every 50. Something to do inbetween the lull times at work indeed.

That's not all a sad matter. With me getting gmail, I am now officially technosavvy. Probably the next level in my growth would be to dissect my mouse (my computer mouse). It's really interesting to me that with the advent of the wireless mouse, one day u might really accidentally grab a real mouse thinking it's a computer mouse. *squeaky*

I pray Lord, that my mom would buy me wassants today.

Speaking of mouses, I remember once when I was 11 or 12, I was doing a writing project that was due the next day, and I had a mouse that was slightly slow to respond. I got so frustrated I threw the mouse on the floor, and it was destroyed like it would have been if u had shot it with a pellet gun. maybe. just then my parents came back and said, "why did u do that? now you can't finish your project." they were right. why did I do that? I don't know, except wisdom taught me in that one day the value of self control.

And of self control, I am now skipping breakfast to be able to eat lunch.

God, my heart burns for you.

Yo Sich!

My Spoof of Sicheng Su: Top one thought about Singapore on my first ten days here.
Warning: funny.

1. FOOD!

Stepping into sonship

Having flu for the last couple of days haven't been fun. I feel so lethargic and after being at work for a while, my head aches and I can't think anymore. So I've been resting earlier. It always starts off with dry throat, and then, streams of flowing mucus neverending. Seriously when I wake up in the morning, I'm getting like this dull headache, and I wonder why. And then I realize, it's the dehydration from ALL THE MUCUS I LOST IN MY SLEEP!

In the words of sicheng, 'this is not really relevant', but really the last few days I'm been thinking about being his son. not sicheng's son. God's son. I never realized until recently that when God said, "you're now my son", He was actually making a covenant with me. The love that is inherent in His convenant is so deep, I don't know if my heart has really grasped it. Sometimes I think to myself, well if I reject God, u know, God will just reject me. It's really easier for Him (this is true), but it's not His nature.

When Jesus came, He was introducing a paradigm shift for the Jews, trying to tell them, look God treats you like a father treats his son. Speaking to sinners, he said, there was once a rich man, and his son one day demanded his inheritance, and in demanding so, was cutting off his relationship with his dad. And the dad gave him what belonged to the younger son. Spending it all away, he came back thinking to himself, if my father will forgive me, being his servant is already much better than being in my current state. but when the father saw him from a distance, he ran over to his younger son and restored to him his rightful place as his son.

The message is the same today when Jesus tells me about Father God: This is the nature of your Father in heaven. When you are faithless, He is faithful because he cannot disown himself. And God is watching us - He is longing for us to turn to Him and smile, waiting for us to say, I want to be back home with you. Sometimes I feel like I disappoint God, but God just longs for us, because He says you are my son. Nothing changes that.

I don't know how long it will take before I can seal this kind of love into my heart. That's why it says, "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! AND THAT IS WHAT WE ARE!" That is who I am. I am His son. And I am deeply loved.

1 Corinthians 2:9-10
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him" - But God has revealed it to us by His Spirit!

I believe when Isaiah prophesied in chapter 64 about no eye has seen what God has prepared for those who love Him, in those days the mystery of sonship was kept for our days, in the days where the Spirit is released to live in our hearts so we can cry out Abba Father, that God gave Isaiah a glimpse of this mystery. which is why in verse 8 he says, "yet, O Lord, you are our Father!"

I love listening to my dad's stories. I mean my dad has some crazy stories (earthly dad). Like inventing the electric cooker before it made its way to singapore. I mean I never knew these stories about him. But something inside me clicks everytime he shares these stories. It's like, it's his glory to share them. And this is just a parable. Because when I listen to the stories God has, when I swim in His mysteries, when I see gold dust and gold teeth and free food, I'm like God does these things? Why? But it's so exciting, because God is revealing another part of Himself that He has hidden for me. That is His glory. In the same way Moses asked God to show him His glory, and God said I will let ALL my goodness pass by you, because ALL his goodness had not been revealed to Israel but only to Moses. It's His glory. A Father sharing His heart with His son. That is His glory, and His glory is in Jesus, who is in us, because that is who Jesus is. Jesus is the mystery of God. In Him, all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden.

I can feel the hunger swirling up. I desire His glory. And even now, God is preparing us to move into new realms of His glory. Yep Father God is getting us ready, so that He can bring us into a new place in His heart. He is preparing our hearts, so that we will be able to receive what will be poured out next and not crumble under the weight of it.

Jesus, greater than Moses

The mystery of God is this, that He let all His goodness dwell in us. Christ in you, the hope of glory.

The little things..

God never flinches much when I say things like, "oh you are worthy" or "your name deserves to be praised", but when I say "damn, you're amazing", it makes Him so happy.

"It's from your heart, that's why."

This is going to be my lunch.

Maybe not, but thinking about it is always enjoyable.

Dark Meat

I treated the family (the extended one) to KFC for dinner yesterday since I got my first pay! KFC was a good break from 3 hours or so of Street Fighter 4. We ordered 32 pieces of chicken: 22 crispy and 10 original. Normally my dad is very picky about the pieces because he only eats chicken thighs and chicken drumsticks, and never touches the ribs or the breast meat or the wings. So when I put down the phone after ordering, my mom was like, did u get all thighs and drums? And I told her nope. Aiya forget it, when the KFC comes he can just pick the pieces; the other ones he doesn't want can be given to the other members of the family. And oh, my dad eats only crispy, so there was what he was concerned about.

Man, I wish I took a picture of this. When the KFC came, 22 crispy chicken pieces were ALL in thighs and drums, whereas the 10 original chicken pieces was assorted. Amazing! Wow, that was a miracle! The ten pieces was proof that there was no instruction told to them about choice pieces. (I feel like a Levite heh.)

God really seems to have been giving me so much favor in food. Just last week, I ordered fishball noodles that cost $3.50. I asked for extra noodles. And the lady charged me $3.00! Like how come when I pay less, I get more? My grace was longer for that meal - I'm thankful even up to now ha!

Three weeks ago, I ordered cai fan and I ordered 1 meat and rice. 1 meat and 1 veg with rice cost $3.00 and 1 meat and 2 veg with rice cost $3.50. So I expected to pay $2.50. The lady at the counter smiled at me and charged me $2.00.

Four weeks ago, I ate ramen, and I ordered extra noodles. The lady came to me and said it's really expensive, u need to pay an extra one dollar for extra noodles. Ramen extra noodles are normally a dollar anyway. So I told her, no problem, I'm used to it. After about a minute she came back and said cheekily, yea I talked to the boss, I can charge you fifty cents only, so you don't have to pay a dollar.

Wow thanks God! I didn't do anything to get that, but it sure was fun getting it. Some people get gold dust, gold teeth, huge gemstones, miracle healings, I apparently get cheaper food haha! Why would God do that? I don't know! Maybe He, as a dad, likes to give good gifts too.

Last Tuesday, I talked to a friend and I was telling him how I prayed the double layered Mcspicy burger back into Mcdonald's. (Cos I was trying to describe how God answered my prayer) I've being praying this for a while last year. And then it came in Dec 2008, the double layered Mcspicy for a season. So I was hyped! yay God! But it tasted horrible, cos the meat was not as good quality. So I was just saying, well God didn't give me as good a quality meat but hey He answered the prayer. So I'm praying for better quality. 2 days after that conversation, the double Mcspicy came back again! I was shocked, so I went to try it. And the quality is better! Man! God answered again, and with better quality. It was the same, but definitely better than in Dec 2008. I have a feeling that God's just trying to get back at me herh herh. Why does God need to improve it twice or three times and not just give me all at one go? I also don't know. Why does Jesus need to pray for a man's eyes twice before his eyesight was completely restored, and not just once?

Simply Amazing!

wah! chwee kuey, duck porridge, megamcspicy, bak kut teh. man, today was a treat. it made me feel like a worker deserves his wages.

This testimony of Rolland baker is AMAZING! He suffered from dementia, sleeping 22 hours a day, not being able to put on his clothes, can't remember which country he is, and this was all three months ago. The doctor said he was going to die, there was no way he'll be healed. And now! He's standing up giving his testimony!!! listening to this and watching this brought me to tears.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NbSb9EmsIo

YEEAAAAAHHH!! YAY GOD!!! THAT'S MY GOD!!!

ooh, dinner!

food always deserves a blog post.

Believing. Be living?

I was lazy today. emphasis on "was". (I believe laziness comes in seasons. especially seasons when I have to be hardworking.) So I hitched a ride from my dad to work, and we had a very interesting conversation about believing. Sometimes, we develop this inferiority complex thing where we tell ourselves, we can't do this. And sometimes, people tell us it's too difficult. But hearing stories about how he overcame many obstacles because he believed in himself really impressed me. (this sounds like some sappy drama serial but some of those obstacles really scared me) He shld be a researcher man. or rather I'm doing the job, and he's living it out. He told me, "I told myself, there must be a way out, I can find it." That amazed me.

I realized for a long time now, courage is an important core value in the Kingdom of God. If a man can do it by himself, how much more if God is for him? As I write this, still I am struggling to gather courage, because "we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved." (Hebrews 10:39) I mean where do we get this idea where humility is just doing what we can, and lowering ourselves and who we are to what we are not?

For God said,
"He who is coming will come and not delay.
But my righteous ones will live by faith.
And if he shrinks back,
I will not be pleased with him." (Hab 2:3,4)

And that scares me. I struggle with fear (well, definitely, if it scares me haha). But what scares me more is that in Revelation 21:8, the cowardly are left outside the kingdom. And it's not like it's only in Revelation. Even when Moses sent twelve men to spy on the land of canaan before they enter in. Ten (that means twelve minus joshua and caleb), said those dudes, we can't beat them they will squash us. Their city is large. We will most certainly die.

But Caleb silenced the ten, saying,
"We SHOULD go up and take possession of the land, for WE CERTAINLY CAN DO IT."

Man, that Caleb was really something. Numbers 13. And in Numbers 14, God doesn't allow any of them to enter except Joshua and Caleb, and of Caleb, He said in verse 24,

"No one who has treated me with contempt will ever see [the promised land]. But because my servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to, and his descendants will inherit it."

And again God talks about him in Deut 1:36. And the best part, Joshua gives him the land Hebron, because [same reason as in Numbers 14:24]. And I checked up Hebron, because God asked me to. And Hebron means "coupled with, allied". And it's the same word that God used to described Abraham as His friend!

MAN! Amazing. Faith really is directly linked to courage. And God is looking for courageous people to be His friends. Courageous people get that honor.

Wow man. Me, I suffer from being timid. feeling inferior. so does Paul, he came to the corinthians in weakness and fear. but God is looking for us to cry out like in Acts 4, "MAKE US BOLDER!"

I always ask myself when I think about fear, what makes Peter go from being afraid of slave girls to being so courageous he was able to be picky about how he was going to be martyred. That astounds me. Because there's supernatural courage that comes from communing with the Holy Spirit. Being filled with Him. And this courage is super natural, we don't have to try, it comes out naturally because of our relationship with the Holy Spirit. And in developing a relationship with Him, a Godly courage is also developed in us.

Yap this is what I'm praying for, a deeper lifestyle with the Holy Spirit that emboldens us to become who we are, and who we are destined to be. "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

Second post

Ok. This is officially the start. (: Hello.

First post

I always thought that the first post of any blog is really awkward. so instead, I will skip ahead to my second post.